Hi Everyone,
I’m glad Friday has rolled around again. Please know that breaking up is rarely easy, whether you are initiating it or receiving it. It is also somewhat discouraging that people still play games. In the event that you are the initiator, it is important to be sure that you want to break up. You also have the right to do so, especially if the relationship is unsatisfactory. While it is important to recognize the situation, it is equally important to guard against erroneously using it as a threat when, in fact, you actually wanted the relationship to change. Too little, too late, some people may try to make come back. Unfortunately, as you can see, ambivalence after ending a relationship is not a sign that you made a wrong decision; neither is loneliness. I’m thinking that both indicate that the relationship was equally valuable to you, as well. So what? Likewise, if your partner breaks up with you, the pain and loneliness you will experience are natural. There is nothing the individual can do to erase the pain; it is only natural. Not breaking up because you don’t want to hurt your partner may be even worse because you are not being honest with him or her, or with yourself. I think one can only expect a wise person to be sincere enough to leave the partner alone. If you don’t leave him or her alone, it will only be more painful since he or she may be more involved in the relationship than you. Guess what? With time, the intensity of the pain and suffering will subside. That is to say, if you are a victim, don’t lose hope, instead, just go through the motions or grieving process and perhaps share your story with trusted friends. While doing so, use it as an opportunity to build back your self-esteem by regarding yourself as a worthwhile person, whether you are with a partner or not. Obviously, no one ever died of love because there are many fishes in the ocean. This notion will surely help ease the pain.
The traditional family unit that remains geographically and socially connected is less common. We also need to know that if something happens to us, there are people we can depend on for help. Without such relationships, one may feel anxious and vulnerable. Family has been the traditional anchor associated with mental well-being for the aging adult. Few aspects of family life exist to which our relatives (especially parents and siblings) do not make a contribution. Adult siblings are surely important sources of help in times of need, and trouble. Adults who are ill or aged or children whose parents are unable to care for them are often absorbed into the homes of relatives who have the resources to support them. If children are young and single, parents may still expect to exercise considerable control over their children’s behavior in return for their support. But if children are older or married, there are fewer obligations. This should not be the case. Even when extended families are separated geographically, they should continue to provide emotional and financial support. Contacts with kin are also especially important in the lives of the aged, as well. Unfortunately, with well over 50 percent of new marriages ending in divorce, the effect on the aging adult can be profound. How the divorced, remarried, or blended family responds to the needs of the aging adult can generate complex care problems and dilemmas. Now, who will care for the elderly, widowed adult with early onset Alzheimer's Disease, for example, when the children are divorced and living far away from the family of origin? I also suspect some consequences for the aging adult of adult children who abandon their children. If I may ask, can grandparents assume this responsibility when they are faced with health problems and financial limitations? I think the answer is a resounding no. With all of these complexities of modern life, I still think the family unit deserves to be nurtured, strengthened, and protected. May Allah grant us peace.
Have a blessed week-end.
Saturday, 15 March 2014
Thursday, 23 January 2014
The charismatic leader... Malcolm X
In Harlem in the early 1950s, few African-Americans knew much about the Nation of Islam, or ever stepped into its temple. The Nation preached that white people were descended from the devil and that someday Allah would liberate the black race. This doctrine had little meaning for Harlemites, who went to church for spiritual solace and turned in practical matters to their local politicians. But in 1954, a new minister for the Nation of Islam arrived in Harlem.
The minister's name was Malcolm X, and he was well-read and eloquent, yet his gestures and words were angry. Word spread: whites had lynched Malcolm's father. He had grown up in a juvenile facility, then had survived as a small-time hustler before being arrested for burglary and spending six years in prison. His short life (he was only twenty—nine at the time) had been one long run-in with the law, yet look at him now—so confident and educated. No one had helped him; he had done it all on his own. Harlemites began to see Malcolm X everywhere, handing out fliers, addressing the young. He would stand outside their churches, and as the congregation dispersed, he would point to the preacher and say, "He represents the white man's god; I represent the black man's god." The curious began to come to hear him preach at a Nation of Islam temple. He would ask them to look at the actual conditions of their lives: "When you get hrough looking at where you live, then . . . take a walk across Central Park," he would tell them. "Look at the white man's apartments. Look at his Wall Street!" His words were powerful, particularly coming from a minister.
In 1957, a young Muslim in Harlem witnessed the beating of a drunken black man by several policemen. When the Muslim protested, the police pummeled him senseless and carted him off to jail. An angry crowd gathered outside the police station, ready to riot. Told that only Malcolm X could forestall violence, the police commissioner brought him in and told him to break up the mob. Malcolm refused. Speaking more temperately, the commissioner begged him to reconsider. Malcolm calmly set conditions for his cooperation: medical care for the beaten Muslim, and proper punishment for the police officers. The commissioner reluctantly agreed. Outside the station, Malcolm explained the agreement and the crowd dispersed. In Harlem and around the country, he was an overnight hero— finally a man who took action. Membership in his temple soared.
Malcolm began to speak all over the United States. He never read from a text; looking out at the audience, he made eye contact, pointed his finger. His anger was obvious, not so much in his tone—he was always controlled and articulate—as in his fierce energy, the veins popping out on his neck. Many earlier black leaders had used cautious words, and had asked their followers to deal patiently and politely with their social lot, no matter how unfair. What a relief Malcolm was. He ridiculed the racists, he ridiculed the liberals, he ridiculed the president; no white person escaped his scorn. If whites were violent, Malcolm said, the language of violence should be spoken back to them, for it was the only language they understood. "Hostility is good!" he cried out. "It's been bottled up too long." In response to the growing popularity of the nonviolent leader Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm said, "Anybody can sit. An old woman can sit. A coward can sit. . . . It takes a man to stand."
Malcolm X had a bracing effect on many who felt the same anger he did but were frightened to express it. At his funeral—he was assassinated in 1965, at one of his speeches—the actor Ossie Davis delivered the eulogy before a large and emotional crowd: "Malcolm," he said, "was our own black shining prince."
Malcolm X was a Charismatic of Moses' kind: he was a deliverer. The power of this sort of Charismatic comes from his or her expression of dark emotions that have built up over years of oppression. In doing so, the deliverer provides an opportunity for the release of bottled-up emotions by other people—of the hostility masked by forced politeness and smiles. Deliverers have to be one of the suffering crowd, only more so: their pain must be exemplary. Malcolm's personal history was an integral part of his charisma. His lesson—that blacks should help themselves, not wait for whites to lift them up—meant a great deal more because of his own years in prison, and because he had followed his own doctrine by educating himself, lifting himself up from the bottom. The deliverer must be a living example of personal redemption.
The essence of charisma is an overpowering emotion that communicates itself in your gestures, In your tone of voice, in subtle signs that are the more powerful for being unspoken. You feel something more deeply than others, and no emotion is more powerful and more capable of creating a charismatic reaction than hatred, particularly if it comes from deeprooted feelings of oppression. Express what others are afraid to express and they will see great power in you. Say what they want to say but cannot. Never be afraid of going too far. If you represent a release from oppression, you have the leeway to go still farther. Moses spoke of violence, of destroying every last one of his enemies. Language like this brings the oppressed together and makes them feel more alive. This is not, however, something that is uncontrollable on your part. Malcolm X felt rage from early on, but only in prison did he teach himself the art of oratory, and how to channel his emotions. Nothing is more charismatic than the sense that someone is struggling with great emotion rather than simply giving in to it
The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
The minister's name was Malcolm X, and he was well-read and eloquent, yet his gestures and words were angry. Word spread: whites had lynched Malcolm's father. He had grown up in a juvenile facility, then had survived as a small-time hustler before being arrested for burglary and spending six years in prison. His short life (he was only twenty—nine at the time) had been one long run-in with the law, yet look at him now—so confident and educated. No one had helped him; he had done it all on his own. Harlemites began to see Malcolm X everywhere, handing out fliers, addressing the young. He would stand outside their churches, and as the congregation dispersed, he would point to the preacher and say, "He represents the white man's god; I represent the black man's god." The curious began to come to hear him preach at a Nation of Islam temple. He would ask them to look at the actual conditions of their lives: "When you get hrough looking at where you live, then . . . take a walk across Central Park," he would tell them. "Look at the white man's apartments. Look at his Wall Street!" His words were powerful, particularly coming from a minister.
In 1957, a young Muslim in Harlem witnessed the beating of a drunken black man by several policemen. When the Muslim protested, the police pummeled him senseless and carted him off to jail. An angry crowd gathered outside the police station, ready to riot. Told that only Malcolm X could forestall violence, the police commissioner brought him in and told him to break up the mob. Malcolm refused. Speaking more temperately, the commissioner begged him to reconsider. Malcolm calmly set conditions for his cooperation: medical care for the beaten Muslim, and proper punishment for the police officers. The commissioner reluctantly agreed. Outside the station, Malcolm explained the agreement and the crowd dispersed. In Harlem and around the country, he was an overnight hero— finally a man who took action. Membership in his temple soared.
Malcolm began to speak all over the United States. He never read from a text; looking out at the audience, he made eye contact, pointed his finger. His anger was obvious, not so much in his tone—he was always controlled and articulate—as in his fierce energy, the veins popping out on his neck. Many earlier black leaders had used cautious words, and had asked their followers to deal patiently and politely with their social lot, no matter how unfair. What a relief Malcolm was. He ridiculed the racists, he ridiculed the liberals, he ridiculed the president; no white person escaped his scorn. If whites were violent, Malcolm said, the language of violence should be spoken back to them, for it was the only language they understood. "Hostility is good!" he cried out. "It's been bottled up too long." In response to the growing popularity of the nonviolent leader Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm said, "Anybody can sit. An old woman can sit. A coward can sit. . . . It takes a man to stand."
Malcolm X had a bracing effect on many who felt the same anger he did but were frightened to express it. At his funeral—he was assassinated in 1965, at one of his speeches—the actor Ossie Davis delivered the eulogy before a large and emotional crowd: "Malcolm," he said, "was our own black shining prince."
Malcolm X was a Charismatic of Moses' kind: he was a deliverer. The power of this sort of Charismatic comes from his or her expression of dark emotions that have built up over years of oppression. In doing so, the deliverer provides an opportunity for the release of bottled-up emotions by other people—of the hostility masked by forced politeness and smiles. Deliverers have to be one of the suffering crowd, only more so: their pain must be exemplary. Malcolm's personal history was an integral part of his charisma. His lesson—that blacks should help themselves, not wait for whites to lift them up—meant a great deal more because of his own years in prison, and because he had followed his own doctrine by educating himself, lifting himself up from the bottom. The deliverer must be a living example of personal redemption.
The essence of charisma is an overpowering emotion that communicates itself in your gestures, In your tone of voice, in subtle signs that are the more powerful for being unspoken. You feel something more deeply than others, and no emotion is more powerful and more capable of creating a charismatic reaction than hatred, particularly if it comes from deeprooted feelings of oppression. Express what others are afraid to express and they will see great power in you. Say what they want to say but cannot. Never be afraid of going too far. If you represent a release from oppression, you have the leeway to go still farther. Moses spoke of violence, of destroying every last one of his enemies. Language like this brings the oppressed together and makes them feel more alive. This is not, however, something that is uncontrollable on your part. Malcolm X felt rage from early on, but only in prison did he teach himself the art of oratory, and how to channel his emotions. Nothing is more charismatic than the sense that someone is struggling with great emotion rather than simply giving in to it
The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
A little hope for everyone.. Enjoy it (video)
Today I was listening to a beautiful nasheed.. "Hope is possible" for every one. I thought it would be a good idea to share it here.
Enjoy it.. !!
Scroll down for the english translation.
كشـوق الليـــــــالي لضوء القمــــــــــــــر
Such as the night longs for the light of the moon..
إذا المرء يدرك سر العطا... لأنفق فيه المدى والعمر
If only one knew the secret of giving.. He would have continued to give for the rest of his life.
Enjoy it.. !!
Scroll down for the english translation.
كشـوق الليـــــــالي لضوء القمــــــــــــــر
Such as the night longs for the light of the moon..
كعشق اليبــــاب لقطر المطــــــــــر
Such as the barren land longs for the rain..
نجيء و في راحتينا الضيـــــــاء
نقـــــاءا وحبا لكل البشـــــــر
We come while the lights in our hands (spreads) purity and love for all human beings..
نســابق.. نرقى.. وللغير نســـعى
We race.. and rise.. seeking to help others..
ونرســـم للكون أحلى الصـــور
And we draw beautiful pictures of the universe..
فأنى تطيب لنا ذي الحيــاة وفينا ضعيف الجناح انكســـر؟؟
How can we live happily in this world.. when we have among us weak ones with broken wings??
وطفل فقيـــر طواه الأســــى
And a poor child scorn by grieve...
ينــــــام وفي مقلتيه الضجــــر
Who sleeps with his eyes in (constant) worry...
سنمسح عن كل جرح دمـــاء.. ونمضي بما ربنا قد أمـــر
(So), we will wipe the blood from all the wounds.. and we'll do as our Lord has commanded us (i,e to help those in need)
ونودع في الأرض بدر النمــــــا
And we put in the earth the seed of growth ( and prosperity)..
ليورق أجـــــرا بهي الثمــــر
For it give (a harvest of) beautiful fruits.
إذا المرء يدرك سر العطا... لأنفق فيه المدى والعمر
If only one knew the secret of giving.. He would have continued to give for the rest of his life.
Sunday, 16 September 2012
A Whisper of Reason Concerning The anti Islam video
As-Salaamu Aleikum ALL,
As you can see, it has been a while since I last wrote on my blog. Today I want to write about an important rather controversial issue which attracted great media coverage these days. The debate about freedom of expression and hate speech.
The chain of events we witnessed during the week were unprecedented in their magnitude and consequences. Amb. Chris Stevens, embassy staff and US marines were killed in Benghazi. More people lost their lives across the muslim world when angry demonstrators attacked american embassies in response to an obnoxious film made in the US which was promoted by anti-Muslim zealot Terry Jones.
The anti-Islam video that ignited the violent demonstration is 'disgusting and reprehensible' as Hillary Clinton put it and can never be excused in the name free speech, rather, the way these ignorants have cloaked their vile deeds in the name of free speech is deplorable.
I don't want to delve into whether the kind of reactions we have seen were appropriate or not although I have my own reservations about retaliating by killing innocent people. The fact is that the video which was made by a gang of fraudsters and extremists was apparently meant to incite muslims. I believe these reactions were simply the natural result of psychological violence caused by the actions of those who insult religious sanctities.
However, the undenialable reality is that every society including the west has limits on public speech and views they don’t like. The only difference is in who defines the limits of this speech and how restrictive these limits are. National security, racism, holocaust denial, glorification of terrorism, racial hatred and incitement among many others, are all limits imposed on freedom of speech by western countries.
The Danish newspaper could never have printed cartoons denying the holocaust in the name of free speech. Geert Wilders could never have produced a film likening Israeli’s treatment of the Palestinians to the Nazi treatment of the Jews, without charges of anti-Semitism being brought against him.
So, it’s contradictions like these, on the boundries of free speech where the clash of values between Islam and the west is taking place.
The simple fact that the west MUST recognise is; absolute freedom of speech is a myth. The publication of the sacrilegious film about Prophet of Islam (PBUH) stands in stark contrast to international rules and principle of freedom of speech. People who use the media to communicate something that disturbs social peace, mental health or public morals or that causes hatred and hostility toward other people must be stopped.
To those who made insulting prophet Mohammad (SAW) the mission of their lives, you have to know that the man you so easily smear his character is not one we need to defend, because he is beyond what you ignoramuses will ever reach. It didn’t harm him during his life and it won’t harm him today that he’s dead. Your ignorance behaviour will not change the facts that defines him as the greatest man to have ever lived.
"Islam is a powerful religion with more than 1.5 billion followers, a faith that continues to grow despite the best efforts of its opponents to crush it (and despite the stupidity of Muslim extremists who dishonor Islam with their brutality). Islam will not be harmed by any film, book or work of art. Indeed, the foolishness of those who seek to denigrate Prophet Muhammad in this fashion is that their work simply inspires more people to learn about the man who founded humanity's second largest religion. A man whose life was so remarkable that, 1,380 years after his death, it continues to attract enthusiastic converts to his teaching of the oneness of God and the oneness of mankind" noted Film maker Kamran Pasha.
P. S; Read also
The Civil Arab
As you can see, it has been a while since I last wrote on my blog. Today I want to write about an important rather controversial issue which attracted great media coverage these days. The debate about freedom of expression and hate speech.
The chain of events we witnessed during the week were unprecedented in their magnitude and consequences. Amb. Chris Stevens, embassy staff and US marines were killed in Benghazi. More people lost their lives across the muslim world when angry demonstrators attacked american embassies in response to an obnoxious film made in the US which was promoted by anti-Muslim zealot Terry Jones.
The anti-Islam video that ignited the violent demonstration is 'disgusting and reprehensible' as Hillary Clinton put it and can never be excused in the name free speech, rather, the way these ignorants have cloaked their vile deeds in the name of free speech is deplorable.
I don't want to delve into whether the kind of reactions we have seen were appropriate or not although I have my own reservations about retaliating by killing innocent people. The fact is that the video which was made by a gang of fraudsters and extremists was apparently meant to incite muslims. I believe these reactions were simply the natural result of psychological violence caused by the actions of those who insult religious sanctities.
However, the undenialable reality is that every society including the west has limits on public speech and views they don’t like. The only difference is in who defines the limits of this speech and how restrictive these limits are. National security, racism, holocaust denial, glorification of terrorism, racial hatred and incitement among many others, are all limits imposed on freedom of speech by western countries.
The Danish newspaper could never have printed cartoons denying the holocaust in the name of free speech. Geert Wilders could never have produced a film likening Israeli’s treatment of the Palestinians to the Nazi treatment of the Jews, without charges of anti-Semitism being brought against him.
So, it’s contradictions like these, on the boundries of free speech where the clash of values between Islam and the west is taking place.
The simple fact that the west MUST recognise is; absolute freedom of speech is a myth. The publication of the sacrilegious film about Prophet of Islam (PBUH) stands in stark contrast to international rules and principle of freedom of speech. People who use the media to communicate something that disturbs social peace, mental health or public morals or that causes hatred and hostility toward other people must be stopped.
To those who made insulting prophet Mohammad (SAW) the mission of their lives, you have to know that the man you so easily smear his character is not one we need to defend, because he is beyond what you ignoramuses will ever reach. It didn’t harm him during his life and it won’t harm him today that he’s dead. Your ignorance behaviour will not change the facts that defines him as the greatest man to have ever lived.
"Islam is a powerful religion with more than 1.5 billion followers, a faith that continues to grow despite the best efforts of its opponents to crush it (and despite the stupidity of Muslim extremists who dishonor Islam with their brutality). Islam will not be harmed by any film, book or work of art. Indeed, the foolishness of those who seek to denigrate Prophet Muhammad in this fashion is that their work simply inspires more people to learn about the man who founded humanity's second largest religion. A man whose life was so remarkable that, 1,380 years after his death, it continues to attract enthusiastic converts to his teaching of the oneness of God and the oneness of mankind" noted Film maker Kamran Pasha.
P. S; Read also
The Civil Arab
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
The badness and goodness in us
Hallo Everyone,
Last night, I was watching this movie, Blood Diamond. It's a fantastic movie, although it's scary to think about the reality the movie presents, but anyway, I'll talk
about it some other day. (though I might or might not). This is perhaps my
favourite scene from the movie.
Danny Archer
(played fabulously by Leonardo DiCaprio) has taken refuge at a local chief,
Benjamin Kapanay, who runs a shelter for war victims, especially children. There
is blood and carnage all around this oasis of peace and Danny and his
companions, Maddy and Solomon, had literally escaped death a few hours ago. Danny is actually a
diamond smuggler who has got entry after lying that he is a journalist.
The short dialogue between these two opposite characters is fantastic as a critique of
the human nature.
Danny
Archer (talking about the rebel soldiers): So you think because your intentions
are good, they'll spare you, huh?
Benjamin
Kapanay: My heart always told me that people are inherently good. My experience
suggests otherwise. But what about you, Mr. Archer? In your long career as a
journalist, would you say that people are mostly good?
Danny
Archer: No. I'd say they're just people.
Benjamin
Kapanay: Exactly. It is what they do that makes them good or bad. A moment of
love, even in a bad man, can give meaning to a life. None of us knows whose
path will lead us to God.
Think about
it. I thought about it, and I realized one thing about me. I've never
been able to completely hate a person, even if s/he has done some real harm to
me. I've always found some bit of good in them, not that I want to further test
my patience! dear God, please don't test me anymore :)
And that is
why, I want to ask you, do you, would you also believe that there are no good
people or bad people, that there are only good deeds and bad deeds? Should we
define/brand people as good or bad, or is it about being generally good and
generally bad? Maybe nobody is completely good or bad, or maybe there are a few
pure souls and a few who went beyond redemption, who knows... maybe we are just
supposed to forgive and forget and move on or maybe we are supposed to fight
and seek revenge... who knows?
Whatever be
the answer(s), what I do agree with is this, "A moment of love, even in a
bad man, can give meaning to a life." actually, it gives meaning to all of
humanity. do you also think so?
I think it's human nature to want to define everything, name everything black or white.
Aristotle named everything in the universe that he could find.
But the soul
is more complex than that. Part of being human is the malleability of the soul. People, who
are "human", are like un-set plaster, can be reshaped. Life happens and it changes the
shape and form of the plaster.
My feeling
(because I do believe in good and evil, or darkness and light) is this. What
direction are we moving? Are we moving toward the light or away from it?
The good
within us strives toward the good, but we do not always have the wisdom to
understand...
Let me have your comments about these..
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
Interesting article on spreading peace by Dina Malki:
As a Muslim writer aiming at presenting the positive image of American Muslims in the media, I am grateful first to Allah Almighty for providing me with the opportunity and responsibility to represent my faith. I am also proud to be a member of the Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation.
We Muslims have long been misrepresented to the West and in the West. The events of 9/11 further damaged our image through guilt by association. In front of this avalanche of anti-Muslim sentiments and islamophobia, what are we contributing to our generation and to the coming generations to help correct misconceptions, spread peace and understanding, and practice our religious traditions that favor social harmony?
The Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation is a pioneer in building peace in the DFW metroplex. These women have early on recognized the need for an active Muslim role in a Western society that aspires to open-mindedness, tolerance, and pluralism. Not only has the foundation succeeded in changing the image of the Muslim woman in the American imagination, but it has set pivoting grounds in the social grass roots to include a Muslim organization as an invaluable member of this American civic community.
TMWF has fought misconceptions about Islam through walking their faith: with its social services and compassion for those seeking justice, dignity, and peace, TMWF has shown the American society at large how Islam is a religion of peace and justice that fosters human rights. Through its youth program, TMWF has foreseen the dangers that American Muslim youth face if they are socially alienated because of their faith. TMWF has helped raised a youth that is proud to be Muslim and that is committed to participating in society, thus representing a model of American Muslim citizens.
Having taken care of the family, Muslim community, neighborhood, and society TMWF has spread peace from the bottom layers among individuals and up to the top of society at large. Its interfaith and educational outreach program has proved successful in further strengthening the Muslim community by building bridges of friendship and partnership with non-Muslims. After years of friendly exchanges, the non-Muslim community can be a strong ally to us should we ever face challenges or problems as a minority. Additionally, TMWF has shown the non-Muslim community the human face of our faith. It has caused to shed misconceptions and hatred, and helped spread compassion, friendship and understanding.
I would like to encourage our Muslim community to support TMWF by joining its ranks and expanding the bridges of peace in Texas. The advantage that TMWF has is that it understands American culture and consequently knows how to communicate effectively beyond the barriers of our cultural differences. The contributions of TMWF in the arts, culture, media, interfaith, and society show the true face and heritage of Islam. Inside a Western community that cherishes democracy, freedom, and justice, TMWF is smoothly sailing its Islamic tradition while proudly exhibiting its colorful diversity and contributions to the American national thread. These contributions need to continue and increase inshAllah.
Dina Malki
Dallas Islam Examiner
TMWF Member
http://www.examiner.com/islam-in-dallas/dina-malki
We Muslims have long been misrepresented to the West and in the West. The events of 9/11 further damaged our image through guilt by association. In front of this avalanche of anti-Muslim sentiments and islamophobia, what are we contributing to our generation and to the coming generations to help correct misconceptions, spread peace and understanding, and practice our religious traditions that favor social harmony?
The Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation is a pioneer in building peace in the DFW metroplex. These women have early on recognized the need for an active Muslim role in a Western society that aspires to open-mindedness, tolerance, and pluralism. Not only has the foundation succeeded in changing the image of the Muslim woman in the American imagination, but it has set pivoting grounds in the social grass roots to include a Muslim organization as an invaluable member of this American civic community.
TMWF has fought misconceptions about Islam through walking their faith: with its social services and compassion for those seeking justice, dignity, and peace, TMWF has shown the American society at large how Islam is a religion of peace and justice that fosters human rights. Through its youth program, TMWF has foreseen the dangers that American Muslim youth face if they are socially alienated because of their faith. TMWF has helped raised a youth that is proud to be Muslim and that is committed to participating in society, thus representing a model of American Muslim citizens.
Having taken care of the family, Muslim community, neighborhood, and society TMWF has spread peace from the bottom layers among individuals and up to the top of society at large. Its interfaith and educational outreach program has proved successful in further strengthening the Muslim community by building bridges of friendship and partnership with non-Muslims. After years of friendly exchanges, the non-Muslim community can be a strong ally to us should we ever face challenges or problems as a minority. Additionally, TMWF has shown the non-Muslim community the human face of our faith. It has caused to shed misconceptions and hatred, and helped spread compassion, friendship and understanding.
I would like to encourage our Muslim community to support TMWF by joining its ranks and expanding the bridges of peace in Texas. The advantage that TMWF has is that it understands American culture and consequently knows how to communicate effectively beyond the barriers of our cultural differences. The contributions of TMWF in the arts, culture, media, interfaith, and society show the true face and heritage of Islam. Inside a Western community that cherishes democracy, freedom, and justice, TMWF is smoothly sailing its Islamic tradition while proudly exhibiting its colorful diversity and contributions to the American national thread. These contributions need to continue and increase inshAllah.
Dina Malki
Dallas Islam Examiner
TMWF Member
http://www.examiner.com/islam-in-dallas/dina-malki
Monday, 7 May 2012
The Greatest of All Love stories
She was one of the noblest women around, coming from a very prominent family. She was also quite beautiful and the holder of a considerable amount of wealth, being a prominent businesswoman. To marry her would have been a great feat for any man, and indeed, quite a few of the most prominent and wealthy men in society had asked for her hand. Yet, she rejected them all; already being a widow, she had lost the desire to marry again.
Until he came into her life. He was young man of 25, and although he was also of a very noble family, he was an orphan and was not a man of many means. He had made a meager living tending sheep in the hills surrounding the city. Yet, he had an impeccable moral character, and he was widely known as one of the most honest men around. That is what attracted her to him: she was looking for someone honest who could conduct business for her, as she – a woman in a fiercely patriarchal society – could not do it herself. So, he started working for her.
After he came back from his first business trip, she asked her servant, whom she sent with him, about him and his conduct. The servant amazed her by his report: this young man was the kindest, gentlest man he had ever met. Never did he treat the servant harshly, as many others do. Yet, there was more: as they traveled in the heat of the desert, the servant noticed that a cloud had followed them the entire time, shading them from the blazing sun. The businesswoman was quite impressed with her new employee.
Not only that, this new employee proved to be an astute businessman in his own right. He took his employer’s merchandise, sold it, and with the profits bought other merchandise that he sold again, thus profiting twice. All this was enough for her: the embers of love in her heart that were once extinguished re-kindled again, and she resolved to marry this young man, who was 15 years younger than she.
So, she sent her sister to this young man. She asked him, “Why are you not married, yet?”
“For lack of means,” he answered.
“What if I could offer you a wife of nobility, beauty, and wealth? Would you be interested?” she told him.
He replied in the affirmative, but when she mentioned her sister, the young employee chuckled in amazement.
“How could I marry her? She has turned down the most noble men in the city, much wealthier and prominent than me, a poor shepherd,” he said.
“Don’t you worry,” the sister replied, “I’ll take care of it.”
Not long after, the wealthy businesswoman married her young employee, and it was the beginning of one of the most loving, happiest, and sacred marriages in all of human history : that of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and Khadijah (RA), the daughter of Khuwaylid. When they were married, the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) was 25 years old, and Khadijah was 40. Yet, that did not bother the Prophet (SAW) one bit. He loved her so deeply, and she loved him as deeply. They were married for 25 years, and she bore him seven children : 3 sons and 4 daughters. All of the sons died in young age. Khadijah (RA) was a source of immense love, strength, and comfort for the Prophet Muhammad, and he leaned heavily on this love and support on the most important night of his life.
While he was meditating in cave of Hira, the Angel Jibreel (AS) came to the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and revealed to him the first verses of the Quran and declared to him that he was to be a Prophet. The experience terrified the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), and he ran home, jumping into Khadijah’s (RA) arms crying, “Cover me! Cover me!” She was startled by his terror, and after soothing and comforting him for a while, the Prophet was able to calm down and relate to her his experience.
The Prophet (SAW) feared he was losing his mind or being possessed. Khadijah (RA) put all his fears to rest:
“Do not worry,” she said, “for by Him who has dominion over Khadijah’s soul, I hope that you are the Prophet of this nation. Allah would never humiliate you, for you are good to your relatives, you are true to your word, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are in distress.”
She then took him to her cousin, Waraqah ibn Nawfal – a scholar well-versed in the Judeo-Christian scripture – and he confirmed to the Prophet (SAW) that his experience was Divine and he was to be the Last Prophet.
After his ministry began, and the opposition of his people became harsh and brutal, Khadijah (RA) was always there to support the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), sacrificing all of her wealth to support the cause of Islam. When the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and his family was banished to the hills outside of Makkah, she went there with him, and the three years of hardship and deprivation eventually led to her death. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) mourned her deeply, and even after her death, the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) would send food and support to Khadijah’s friends and relatives, out of love for his first wife.
Once, years after Khadijah (RA) died, he came across a necklace that she once wore. When he saw it, he remembered her and began to cry and mourn. His love for her never died, so much so, that his later wife Ayesha once felt jealous of her. Once she asked the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) if Khadijah (RA) had been the only woman worthy of his love. The Prophet replied:
“She believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand.”
Much has been made and said about Prophet Muhammad’s multiple marriages. There are many who smear the Prophet as a womanizing philanderer, citing his multiple marriages. This is absolute propaganda. As a response to those who malign the Prophet, If the Prophet were anything of the sort, he would have taken advantage of his youth to do such a thing. But he did not! At a time when it was a common custom to have multiple wives, the Prophet did not marry anyone else while he was with Khadijah (RA).
Only between the age of fifty and his death at sixty-two did Prophet Mohammed take other wives. Most of these wives were widows, whom the Prophet married to care after them, or they were they were the daughters of prominent Arab chieftains, so that the Prophet could form a cohesive Muslim society out of a fiercely tribalistic (and barbaric) Arab culture. The smears against the Prophet fall flat on their faces once the light of truth shines brightly upon them.
For his human and natural needs, the Prophet (SAW) married twice. His first marriage was with Hadhrat Khadija (RA). During this time, he did not marry another woman. After her death, he married Hadhrat Sawdah (RA). The purpose of this marriage was purely a human need, that is after the death of Hadhrat Khadija (RA) his two younger daughters were left alone and he needed somebody to look after them. Therefore, he married Hadhrat Sawdah (RA) who was 50 at the time of marriage and so was the Prophet (SAW).
In the capacity of a Prophet (Nabi), he married four women, namely Hadhrat Ayesha (RA), Hadhrat Hafsa (RA), Hadhrat Zaynab bint-i-Khazeema (RA) and Hadhrat Ume Salama (RA). The Prophet’s wives were also made associates in his prophetic mission. Especially for this purpose, he married Hadhrat Ayesha (RA) and it is a known fact that in fulfilling this responsibility she had no match. She became the mentor of the Ummah after the Prophet (SAW)’s death. The rest of the three marriages were the result of social requirements. This social requirement was, taking care of widows and orphans as the Quran directed to do in Surah Al-Nisaa. Taking care of widows and orphans was a very big responsibility. It became necessary that the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) set an example for the Muslims in this regard to give them an incentive, as he was, in the capacity of a Nabi an example for the Muslims to follow.
The divorced women till today, are generally looked down upon in popular estimation, and this was a case in which a freed slave divorced a lady of high birth. By also taking such a divorced woman as his wife, the false notion that divorce degraded women was removed as well. Thus by this act, to which he was morally bound because the lady had been at first offered in marriage to him, he elevated the whole class of divorced women who would otherwise suffer life-long humiliation in society.
Having said this, I must, however, further add: We need not apologize for the Islamic teachings concerning human sexuality: Unlike some religions which hold a very negative views of sexuality, Islam celebrates sexuality within the framework of marriage, and looks at it in a fairly positive light, and the Prophet of Islam, peace be upon him, best represents this ideal.
The question of Prophet’s multiple marriage should never pose a problem for the faithful when they heed the statement of Allah in the Quran concerning his marriages:
“(Hence) no blame whatever attaches to the Prophet for (having done) what God has ordained for him. (Indeed, such was) God’s way with those that have passed away afore-time- and remember that God’s will is always destiny absolute!” (Quran 33:38).
In a song about the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and Khadjiah (RA), Muslim rappers Native Deen sing:
“We look for stories of love in places dark and cold
When we have a guiding light for the whole world to behold.”
When we have a guiding light for the whole world to behold.”
Many of what we call “love stories” today are nothing more than stories of lust and desire, physical attraction disguised as love. Yet, I can find no love story more powerful, more spiritually uplifting, more awe inspiring as that of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and Khadijah (RA). It is a shining example of what an ideal marriage is, and if I ever claim that I love my wife, I must gauge my actions with that of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW).
One cannot help but reflect upon, that this is indeed, the greatest of all love stories : that of Muhammad (SAW) and Khadijah (RA).
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